Today I realized that my Christmas cactus is getting ready to bloom. Poor thing is a bit confused not unlike me most days! I am excited to see the bursting buds because I have had this cactus for 15+ years. It was given to me by my first son's biological mother. I have kept it healthy and happy for many years, like I have tried to do with my son. At times both have thrived and at times both have needed more attention, time and energy than I had to give. Last Christmas my cactus didn't bloom. We had moved the year before because we "lost" our home. The home that I thought my children would finish their growing up years in. The home I thought my husband and I would retire in. The home that was in a neighborhood I loved, knew people in and felt safe in. Then we had to move. We did not want to but we had no choice. We lost our "perfect" home much like my poor cactus. The home it had was a perfect sunny window where it grew and faithfully bloomed for almost 12 years. Since we moved into our new home I have tried to find a perfect spot for my cactus with not much success. This past year it didn't even bud let alone bloom. I felt a kinship with my cactus. I missed my home. I felt like I couldn't bloom where I now lived. A house that wasn't really mine (yes, we are renting) in a neighborhood where I knew no one and really didn't feel safe. But unlike my cactus I could choose to bloom. I could choose to thrive. So, with God's daily help I have chosen to begin to bloom. I have started to decorate my new home. I have hung up my precious family photographs. I have planted a garden. I had my husband paint and we hung up pictures and I unpacked the last of the boxes that had collected several layers of dust over the past year. I am excited for myself and my cactus as we both have finally realized that we can thrive in our new home!
My favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a future." Sometimes life brings us down a road where we cannot see even a glimpse of our future and the one we envisioned is ripped away from us in a single act of violence. But with faith in God and His plan for us we can trust that He indeed still has a plan for us and it is a good plan, even if it is not the plan we had.
